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The conversations we have with
other people are significant. Words have positive
power, to affirm, to challenge, and to love. Words also
have negative influence, to cut down, hurt and stifle
creativity. When speaking with others we have to be
careful with the words we choose. This is especially
true when we engage in conversation with people who are
just taking the first steps of faith. People look to us
as examples, they might come to us with their questions
and we try our best to answer them with the hope of
building up their faith.
An unkind word can do much damage
to someone starting out in faith. Our intent is always
to build each other up and never to tear apart. Over
the years I’ve heard too many times people tell me they
were once active in church until someone spoke an unkind
word to them. They were hurt or offended and stopped
attending. In those situations I always apologize on
behalf of the church telling them that I’m sorry but
also remind them everyone is entitled to have a bad day,
or say something that upon further consideration they
would not have said. Words have power, to build up or
cut down.
Over the next several weeks we will
learn from Jesus, overhearing some of his conversations
with others. Jesus models for us ways to engage in
conversation with someone who might be struggling over
issues of faith. We live out our faith striving to be
more like Jesus in all we say and do.
Nicodemus was a respected religious
leader who spent his life serving God. He was well
versed in the scriptures and religious law. However he
sensed that he was missing something and was intrigued
by Jesus. He could not quite put his finger on what was
wrong but he knew something just did not feel right.
Have you ever had that feeling? You have attended
church and Sunday school for as long as you can remember
but feel you are missing something. Something just does
not feel right, does not click. I believe that was
where Nicodemus was that night when he met Jesus.
Nicodemus “came to Jesus by night,”
signifies not so much the time of day but rather the
condition of his soul. He was filled with questions and
doubts desiring answers. The conversation begins with
the religious leader complimenting Jesus recognizing
that his ability came from God, “for no one can do these
signs that you do apart from the presence of God.”
Jesus took the conversation a step
further. Jesus was not satisfied to simply linger on
the compliment but wanted to engage Nicodemus further.
Jesus states a spiritual truth, “no one can see the
kingdom of God without being born from above.” Perhaps
Nicodemus was looking for earthly, worldly answers and
not focusing on the spiritual realm. Jesus wanted him
to focus not on earthly things but on heavenly things.
Jesus wanted him to reorient his focus, to be “born from
above.” That might have been Jesus’ intent however that
was not what Nicodemus heard or understood. We have all
had that experience, in our mind we are crystal clear in
what we say but the person we are speaking with is
confused and does not understand. Jesus said that one
must be “born from above,” but Nicodemus hears “born
again” which he takes on a very literal level. What
Jesus told him made absolutely no sense. “How can anyone
be born after having grown old?” he asked. I picture
Nicodemus with a puzzled look on his face. He clearly
did not understand.
“What is born of the flesh is
flesh,” Jesus explains, “and what is born of the Spirit
is spirit.” The conversation continues with the same
result—Nicodemus not grasping what Jesus is telling
him. Jesus describes the spiritual life with wind; we
see the effect but do not know where it comes from. This
description does not help the situation, Nicodemus
remains confused.
For some reason, that night, the
two men never connect. Nicodemus wanted proof, some
tangible sign while Jesus spoke of the spirit life.
Jesus was trying to explain in such a way that Nicodemus
would understand. Certainly a respected religious
leader like Nicodemus would know about Moses; “Just as
Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must
the Son of Man be lifted up.” Jesus did not give up but
continued to engage Nicodemus in ways he would
understand. Nicodemus’ last statement that night was,
“How can these things be?” What Jesus was saying simply
made no sense to him.
When we engage in conversation with
others the first thing we need to do is find something
we have in common with the other person. In a sense we
learn to speak their language, using words and images
the other person would be sure to understand. We seek
to build a level of trust. We begin with basics of
faith, and then build to the more complex
understandings.
A good place to begin our
conversation is reminding people that God loves them
very much. John 3:16 has been labeled the gospel in
miniature, “For God so loved the world that he gave his
only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not
perish but may have eternal life.” God loves all
people, even people we currently have a difficult time
reaching. God never stops loving us and fills our lives
with amazing grace. Grace is not what we deserve, or
something we can earn but is freely given.
There are conversations that may
take longer than we like for the gospel to sink in and
that is all right. Jesus failed to connect with
Nicodemus that night. Nicodemus slipped away in the
same darkness in which he came. Nicodemus wanted proof,
something that Jesus could not offer. Instead Jesus
spoke of belief, “whoever believes in him may have
eternal life.” Nicodemus needed more time to think
about what Jesus told him. The same is true in our
conversations. While we might want an immediate
response, sometimes it takes awhile for people to come
around. We plant the seeds of faith and do all we can
to cultivate and encourage growth. It takes time and
that is all right. We might not ever know this side of
heaven our positive impact on another person.
Anthony Flew was born in England,
the son of a Methodist preacher. He was raised in a
Christian home and attended a Christian school. As an
adult he abandoned the faith he was raised with claming
to be an atheist. Over the course of his distinguished
career as a professor, he wrote over thirty books on the
subject of philosophy. With such a reputation Dr. Flew
became known that the world’s pre-eminent defender of
atheism for over fifty years.
Then an amazing thing happened,
Anthony now in his 80s left atheism and accepted the
existence of God. His journey to faith came by reason,
by asking questions as well as scientific inquiry. One
of the world’s leading atheists now believes in God.
Some might claim that he returned
to his early roots which Anthony would agree. “I do
know that the beliefs I formed in my early teenage years
stayed with me for most of my adult life,” he explains.
At the end of John’s gospel we meet
Nicodemus again. By this time Jesus was crucified and
his disciples deserted him. Nicodemus came out in the
light to care for Jesus’ body. This time Nicodemus does
not ask any questions. He simply does what is right.
He acts—he risks. And he is no longer concerned if
people identify him with Jesus. In a sense he becomes a
disciple even though he does not have all of his
questions answered. You do not have to have completely
figured Jesus out to follow him.
As we follow, as we speak, as we
act in faith, we are still a work in process. We
continue our Lenten journey, growing in our faith,
following Jesus. We follow, believing in Jesus.
Amen.
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